Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
