You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
