I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
