when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
