I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
So squirting runs in the family.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
