do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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