dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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