I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I had to cum in my sink.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
