Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
this boner is exhausting
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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