he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
