You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
