Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
