We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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