there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
