he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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