i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
