Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
