just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
