so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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