just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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