Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
you had me at cake vodka
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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