yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
