You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
