dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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