So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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