the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Randomize
