I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I intend to get homeless drunk
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
