If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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