She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
