Old men and throwing up are my life now.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
