so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I wish you could order shots online.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
