Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
