so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
