yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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