My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You need Xanax blowdarts
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
