I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
