Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
