kristin has been a bad kristin
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
