its not stalking. its research.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
