Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
