So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
