Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
