I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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