the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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