i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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