I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
