I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
