All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
