I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
