Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
