Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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